the language of idiots

Let's talk current issues. But just for fun, let's talk about it in the way that everybody these days seems to prefer. You know, just to mix it up.

First up, let's just go for broke: the war in Iraq. Really there are two sides to this issue – those who are for justice, and those who are for innocent life. Personally, I'm for innocent life, but that may just be me. And that being the case, quite obviously I have an irresponsibly blatant disregard for justice. In other words, I'm an evil, crotchless-pantied Nazi son of a bitch. Of course, everyone who doesn't side with me is an unholy, child-murdering rape machine. I sure wish we all could just agree that human life is important along with international justice. Oh well. (You bastards.)

Are you getting where I'm going with this yet? No, probably not. I suppose it has been rather vague so far. Let me try to explain…I'm talking about ABORTION. Can you see the link? No, probably not. To be specific, I am not discussing the actual topic of abortion, rather the language used during discussion of the actual topic. This isn't an issue that gets to see the light of day real often…

Who can name the two factions involved in the abortion debacle? Anyone? Do I see a hand in the back? Or is everybody too damned scared of being lambasted if they say something wrong? Then allow me: (instructions: read slowly, drawing out every word) in the first corner, smoking the weed and wearing the yellow trucks and red silk bathrobe, we have the hippy PRO-CHOICERS!! In the opposite corner, reading the bible and wearing the beige trunks and off-white corduroy bathrobe, we have – the one true god's own chosen – the PRO-LIFERS!! Sound familiar? In this, the great debate of our time (please read that sarcastically), you have to be on one of these sides. Got it? Good. So…which are you?

As somebody very cleverly once said, we're all both pro-choice AND pro-life. When asked straight out, nobody is going to say they're against women having the choice of what to do with their own bodies, nor is anybody going to say they're just against life (I hope). So how can you have two opposing sides if neither one is really against the other? YOU CAN'T BITCHES, THAT'S HOW! These titles were created for one reason, and only one reason: to villainize anybody who has the gall to actually disagree with you. NOT to clearly define your stance, as it should be, but to indicate that if anybody is dumb enough to disagree with you, you obviously are either against freedom of choice or against life outright. WHEN THE FUCK DID WE DECIDE TO LET THESE IDIOTS MANIPULATE US??? It's abortion that is the subject of the debate! You are either for or against abortion, nothing else! Quit glossing it over just to make you sound better than the guy you is against. That's manipulative, shady, dodgy and ghetto. Plus I don't like it.

When debating an issue, just be straight and say what you mean. Don't say you're pro-choice, because everyone else is too. Don't say you're pro-life, because again, so are all of the rest of us. Just say you're pro- or anti-abortion. That's clear.

This god-damned media and this god-damned government are turning us all into god-damned politicians.